My Sanctuary
by TheOneYouCallWe
Summary: Passion lost within the twilight of a new world. RoxasxSora, slight AxelxRiku, hinted MarluxiaxAxel
1. Prologue

My Sanctuary

Summary: Passion lost within the twilight of a new world. RoxasxSora

Ramblings: In celebration of my completion of Kingdom Hearts 2 (Beginner Mode). 'Tis bitchin'. I miss Destiny Islands…and Roxas…and Axel. Oh, um… in memoriam of Axel—cause he's teh shit, yo.

Notes: Bitchin', man. 1st Chapter in Sora's POV. Will start changing in later chapters.

* * *

Prologue: Dreams

'_Do you remember your true name?'_

'_You make a good other self.'_

'_He was the only one who made me feel like I had a heart.'_

"JUST SHUT UP!" I angrily slammed my firsts only the lab table, startling the rest of the classroom. Kairi gave me a concerned look, and Riku just stared with a 'what the fuck' expression. "Sir, may I please use the restroom?" I shot my hand up into the air, hoping that no one got in my way when I left.

"Why of course, Sora…" And with that, I stormed out of the classroom in a huff.

You see, I've been having dreams lately. They're like a combination of Roxas's—my Nobody's—and my memories. Not just night dreams—even during the day; the period in which the world is filled with light. I thought I could escape these maddening dreams in the light, but they just keep coming.

_"Sora?"_

"Sora?"

"Huh?" I gave the teacher a rather dumb look.

"Sora, I'm concerned…you've been having these outbursts far too often. Are there any…home problems?"

That's exactly what they always ask first—'home problems'. I suppose that'd be a way of putting it—my body would be the home.

"No, not really." And the ever so common cryptic answer. Dead men tell no tales, right? And I've gone through some seriously messed up shit to be alive now.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm very sure." And I gave him my award-winning 'Sora smile'.


	2. Chapter 1

My Sanctuary

Summary: Passion lost within the twilight of a new world. RoxasxSora

Ramblings: Guess what, bitches. I actually have a plot in mind for this **and **a sequel. This little gem will be based off of…uh…oh yeah. From First to Last's 'Note to Self'. Whahoo. And the sequel? Well…we'll just find that out for ourselves, won't we loves?

Notes: Hallelujah lock and load. It's a dream, it's a fling, it's an all-out scream. But we don't care, we don't care. We live, but we don't care.

Notes2: I swear on my adoration for the Ways, if you jack that above quote (Not the 'Hallelujah lock and load', but the other thing) I will come to your house and rip out your throat and shove it in your PS2. Understand?

* * *

Chapter 1: I Write My Sins on the Wall 

_"They call me…Bond. James Bond."_

"THIS. IS. GAY. VERY VERY GAY."

"Which gay?"

"The bad gay--you know, the fucked up gay."

"Tidus. Wakka. Please…can you two shut up? I need some sleep…I haven't slept in days." Sora gave a half-hearted yawn and rubbed at his eyes in an almost-convincing manner, were it for the fact it was 5 in the afternoon.

"A little early for naptime, Sora."

"You go away too, Riku…I've'nt a decent wink of sleep as of late."

"…say again?"

"He means, go the fuck away and let him sleep." Riku hissed out to a very confused Tidus, who gave a half-hearted wave, a mumble of 'party crasher', and flipped the bird to the three of them. Riku glared in return, but decided against returning the crude gesture, and instead tended to his best friend. "Go on; sleep, Sora."

"He's already passed out."

Sora mumbled something along the lines of 'gmnot sleeeeepheghhh' and flailed an arm out, smacking Wakka across the face.

"Fu--! Damnit, that's a hard fist."

"2 years of wielding the Keyblade? His hands are bound to be calloused, at the least."

"Gm ay…"

"C'mon, Wakka. Let's leave him in peace."

_'Or as much peace as he'll get with me in his mind.'_

**_ooooooo_**

"Hey, Sora, we're--holy shit, what the fuck happened?.!" Riku yelled loudly as he bent to pick up the tangled mass of bedsheets and body, both of which were caked with…_something. _"Holy fuck, what the hell happened? What _is _this?" He croaked out, eyeing his mucky hand from a distance. It smelt disgustingly metallic, yet was darker than any blood--dried or wet.

"His life essence. Or, more accurately, the darker side of him: Roxas' essence."

"Of the Organization? Didn't he become one with Sora?"

"Yes, but…there was much left unfulfilled for Roxas. And it is taking its toll--upon Sora." A shadowed figure--almost undeniably a previous and alive past member of Organization XIII made it's way to Riku's. "If it were in fact, Sora's life essence instead, it would be the purest white that not even those with the slightest taint of darkness could look upon.

"I'd be cursed for life."

"More like blessed." Riku could almost imagine the wry smile upon the figure's face.

"You wouldn't happen to be…"

"Hm?"

"An old friend of Roxas', would you?"

"Well you hit the nail on the mark, Riku. Axel, by the way."

Riku raised an eyebrow at the almost-friendly versation Axel was trading with him. "Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

Axel shrugged it off as nothing. "Nobodies have no hearts--you need a heart to live. Therefore, we are neither living nor dead. It's kind of creepy, but Roxas stuck by it, and so did I."

"Did?"

"Do. So _do _I."

"Mm-hmm…you loved him didn't you?"

"Very much so. Although there's that 'heart' problem again…Oh, you may want to tend to your friend over there--he seems to be coughing up more of Roxas' essence. Nasty sight…"

As Riku tended to the subconscious gaggings of his best friend, he 'interviewed' Axel on how he knew how this was all happening. "What will happen when and if Sora coughs up all of Roxas' essence?"

"Well, there's a good chunk of it in him, so it may take a while, but I could guess that Roxas would have his own body again."

"And that's why you're here."

"Originally, yes. But not now. Roxas won't even remember me. Or anyone for that matter. Simply…"

"Yes?"

"He…will want to kill Sora."

* * *

Note: Can you _see _where I'm going with this? You'll find out the whole reason why it's based off of 'Note to Self' soon enough, loves. 


	3. Chapter 2

My Sanctuary

Summary: Passion lost within the twilight of a new world. RoxasxSora

Ramblings: I have the most suck-ass day in a long-ass while, and this so made up for it. :D

Notes: We'll dream our dreams in solstice & pain.

Notes2: Same as last chapter. Don't jack my quotes. I decorate my Converse with 'em.

* * *

Chapter 2: Opposite Directions 

Although he knew it was for the best, Riku couldn't help but feel concerned seeing his best friend retching a liquid that look greatly like black ink. Sora's hair was matted and practically glued to his head; it was scarce an opportunity to get a word to him, and Riku briefly wondered if he was even fully conscience.

"How much of this 'essence' is there?" Axel had taken his black cloak off, and Riku's gazed caught onto the odd, bright hair color and loose-fitting clothing.

"I don't know actually. They _were_ the same person, kind of, so there might be a lot."

"And how did you know 'Roxas'?"

"Ever heard of the Nobodies?"

"Yeah--Sora and I fought that Xemnas guy."

"Roxas and I," Axel paused momentarily for a very load retch emanating from the bathroom, "were in the same Organization XIII as him."

"Well, _that's_ irony for you; another question: how and why will Roxas want to _kill_ Sora?"

"Memories."

"Memories?"

"Roxas' memories are being controlled and slowly dissipating."

"Then…shouldn't we _stop_ them?"

"There is nothing we can do. Nothing at all."

**_ooooooo_**

"Nnn…my fucking head…" Sora groaned as he pushed himself off the dirt path as he clutched at his pounding head. He desperately tried to get a feel for his surroundings, but could only see the road two feet in front of him and the pitch-darkness surrounding it. "Oh…not _this_ again!"

"Yes, this again, as it may be for some-odd days."

"Well, hello to you **too**, Roxas."

Roxas snorted indignantly, and gave an angry 'likewise.' His eyesight had become well-adjusted to the darkness, unlike Sora whom had had this crazy dream for a week now.

"It's changed slightly."

"How so?"

"There's two roads this time--in opposite directions." They could feel watchful eyes from the darkness--possibly Heartless, or Nobodies.

"But why two?"

"Oh, I don't know, Sora. Maybe we each take a path?" Roxas seemed to have caught onto Axel's arrogance after leaving, but Sora ignored it.

"Um, Roxas…will I ever see you again in 'real life'?"

"…" Roxas was silent; he could not bear to face Sora at this moment--he knew his own future, but Sora did not of it. "Yes…"

"Will be still be friends?"

"What are you trying to ask?"

"If things will be abnormal between us."

"I…" _will end up taking your life_, "don't know."


	4. Chapter 3

My Sanctuary

Summary: Passion lost within the twilight of a new world. RoxasxSora, slight AxelxRiku, hinted MarluxiaxAxel

Ramblings: MCR just somehow sounds like a violent sex music, kind of.

Ramblings2: IT'S NOT THE SAME WITHOUT YOU, BRENT! But there's nothing I can do about you leaving--or being kicked out of--P!atD. D: Teenagers these days…

Notes: So gimme all your poison & gimme all your pills. Gimme all your hopeless hearts, & make me ill.

Disclaimer: Don't own MCR, either.

* * *

Chapter 3: Logical Sacrifice

"5 days now, Axel." Riku addresses the other by name, all previous formality having disappeared, as was his sanity gradually, ever so-slowly, slipping. "5 fucking days and essence, essence, essence. I'm getting sick of it."

"And what do you propose we _do, _then?" Axel grunts, palming his cheek and gazing upon Riku's leisure body with a lazy, half-hearted kind of gaze. "I'm a lot older than you kid--I'm not into the same things."

Riku does a perfect imitation of Marluxia's smug-ness, and Axel swore he saw that faint glimmer of that oh-so familiar lustful gaze. Could it be…?

"Riku, do you know if you ever became a Heartless, or just temporarily lost your heart?" His question startles Riku out of his stupor, and there is a stifling moment of silence.

Riku gives him a rather queer look--the same one Marluxia gave when Axel would unexpectedly blurt out the absurdity of overthrowing the Organization, and with that, Axel is _sure_ of it. "Well, maybe when I was first engulfed in the darkness…" And with that, Axel is sure of it. "Why?"

Axel doesn't know how to prepare him for this--although, since Riku's supposed Nobody is already dead, it doesn't matter too much, but still--and settles for simply blurting it out in a jumble of fragmented sentences and nervous glances. "You might have a--um, Nobody and it's--like, dead and yourNobodykinda. Yeah. Had this crush on me and--like--it was--"

"…excuse me?" Perhaps this odd topic could help to explain his sudden abrupt fear and attraction to this very boy whom he had never _ever_ met, Axel decided, as he continually compared the two.

"You have--had--a Nobody and he has--had--this crush on me before I kinda met Roxas and um…should we just discuss when the stakes aren't so high?"

And Riku just stares.

**_ooooooo_**

Axel has a strange affinity for awkward silences; they are almost a constant in his life, but they all feel the same.

"Listen, Riku…let me explain to you the whole--" But Axel cannot finish his sentence as Sora gives a loud retch and collapses in a heap on the carpet with a muffled 'thwump'.

"Sora!" Axel feels a twinge of what he supposes to be jealousy, but shies away from it, and instead dashes over to a very concerned Riku. "Sora, answer me!" Riku yells to the limp brunette, but the boy does not move.

"He won't hear you for a couple of hours…not until the essence begins to fester."

"Fes…ter…?"

Axel nods. "The essence must have a body in order to survive."

"You don't mean…"

"Why _else_ would I come back for him? Roxas' essence will control me completely, and begin to morph my form. I'll no longer be Axel anymore--I'll basically die." As morbid as it is, it is the most logical, Axel contemplates morosely to himself.

"No."

"What?.!"

"Sora is my responsibility, not yours."

"Moron. I came here solely for this reason. Who else would…?"

And he understands.

* * *

Recommended Listening: 

Thank You for the Venom-My Chemical Romance

Saturday-Fall Out Boy


	5. Chapter 4

My Sanctuary

Summary: Passion lost within the twilight of a new world. RoxasxSora

Ramblings: …shit. 2 whole months. FUCKER.

Notes: What was the pretense of this fanfic again? Oh yeah…Note to Self, I think. Gawd, I just can't remain consistent, can I?

Notes: There will be one more chapter after this, as it is incredibly frustrating--on me, even--to drag this on for so long. But yay, filler chapter!

Disclaimer: I own the 'Essentials' but not Kingdom Hearts.

* * *

Chapter 4: Dreamweaver 

"How will you go about it? Becoming one with Roxas, I mean." It has been a full week since the 'life essence' incident had begun, and everyone is tense. Tidus and Wakka had attempted to come by and see where the hell Sora was, but were promptly shut out and yelled at for disturbing Sora's peace--not that his 'peace' was very peaceful.

Axel grins to himself--he may be sacrificing himself for the sake of his former…whatever they were, but his sense of humor was still intact. "You'll have to specify that, Riku. It could interpreted many ways."

"You sicken me."

"Right back at you."

Riku glares at the kneeling Axel, and resists the urge to strangle the overly-anorexic redhead. "Letting Roxas morph your body, I mean."

"Aah…that. Well, this is actually related to his and Sora's dreams. Since they share one body--sort of--they share dreams. Essentially, they **should** be one and the same, but some interference of sorts--namely Roxas' desire to continue living on his own--has disrupted to natural flow of their essence. If the two _had_ become one, the essence would be a pale gray, instead of blindingly white, or pitch-black."

"So…you're going to go into his--their, dreams?"

"Basically," Axel shrugs, "And from there, I just have to play it by ear. Actually, since Sora's been asleep for 6 days straight now, he is locked in a constant subconscious battle with the darkness--and light. I wouldn't have to go through with this if he could find that grey area--the Essentials."

"…the what?"

A tick mark appears on Axel's forehead. "The Essentials, man! The Essentials!" He heaves a sigh, and glares softly. "Nobodies and Heartless are created from losing your heart, remember? Well, the Essentials are created from losing your soul--your essence. They're quite odd-looking, actually…"

Riku vaguely wonders just how the hell Axel knew everything he was telling. "Are they neutral?"

"Mm…sort of. They're called 'Essentials' because they're essential to everyone--Heartless and Nobodies alike. They cannot be destroyed, and thankfully--they're on the side of the Keyblade. That's why Sora needs to find them. To be sheltered."


	6. Chapter 5

My Sanctuary

Summary: Passion lost within the twilight of a new world. RoxasxSora

Ramblings: **_YAY PLOT IDEA._** And I like it…:O!

Notes: Okay, bullcrap. I have no idea how many more chapters there'll be. Also, this has _major. Monologue._ One big speech explaining how KH came about (or my own views of it. OO)

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, but I own everything else that is NOT in Kingdom Hearts.

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Chapter 5: Eternity Being the Light and Dark Soul

"How do you lose your soul, Axel?"

Said redhead broke out of his mindless staring at the shimmering black liquid pooling around his feet. "Eh?"

"How do you lose your soul?"

"How? Well, I'm not sure exactly, but I know that it's partially easier than losing your heart. Becoming disheartened--meaning, an extreme depression of sorts--or a constraint on your life can cause the loss of a shard of your soul. But to lose it completely can be quite difficult, hence why you never _see_ Essentials."

"Is Roxas an Essential at the moment?" Riku fires off another question.

Axel sighs frustratedly, and runs a slim hand through his hair. "Jeez you have a lot of questions. But no, he isn't--at least, not currently. But the more Sora gags up Roxas' essence, the closer he will be to becoming one of those freaky grey zombie-like Essentials." He turns a steely gaze towards Riku, and studies him closely. "And before you ask, that is **not** a good thing. Him being Sora's opposite, that would make it quite complicated if he were to lose his soul, since he has no heart. You can have a soul without a heart, and you can have a heart without a soul, but you cannot have neither--it's physically, mentally, emotionally, impossible."

"But if Roxas--

"--loses his heart, the very fabric of life itself will disappear completely. It is not that we will all die, but that we will all disappear. We will cease to exist. The worlds have been in a constant strain since the appearance of light, and then darkness." Again, Axel sighs, and prepares for a very ong-winded explanation. He glances at Riku briefly, wondering if it was worth it to actually begin the tale of life. "In the beginning there was simply grey; a shadow of nothing, everything in a harmony of nothingness. There were only the Essentials. It was pure…peace."

Riku gapes his shock. "So…peace cannot exist in our world?"

A brief nod is his confirmation. "Or any world. But, the lesser regulators of this peace--the Heartless, actually-- began to grow restless. They were becoming weary of 'lack of'."

"Lack of what?"

"They did not know. We still do not know. But, in secret, they began to experiment, to find something to remedy the dullness of peace. Eventually, they gained a sense of being--a **dark** soul, and created the very first shrapnel of darkness: Radiant Garden." He cuts off Riku before the platinum blonde can yell his protest and disturb the harshly sleeping Sora. "I know what you're thinking, but Kingdom Hearts came after. Anyway, with the creation of Radiant Garden, the Heartless broke off from the mindless Essentials, and matured. They became the human race. A prince was regulated--the most matured of them all--to guide them into darkness. What his name was, I don't know. Many princes have existed throughout time."

"How…how long have you been…alive, then?"

His chuckle, deep and full of anguish, reverberats loudly through the room. "Longer than you'd expect."

"…go on."

"Mm. The higher Essentials--who began off with no soul, but a heart--witnessed the gradual destruction of the peace, and also gained a sense of their own--but in a different direction. They gained a sense of eternity; the light soul."

"The Nobodies." Riku countered.

Axel covers his mouth with his hand, stifling an uproar of laughter. "Yes, the Nobodies. No matter what you heard from Xehanort or Xemnas, or whatever he goes by now--yes now, he's still out there--we've been around for quite some time. Vexen was actually the oldest of us, Marluxia being second, and me third. Unfortunately, the longer your so-called life, the more you lost your heart; I almost lost it in my 3017th year, actually…" Voice fading, he leans back in the bunk bed and stares blankly into the chipped wood furnishing.

"So the Nobodies came from the Essentials, as did Heartless?" Riku interrupts, "And humans are Heartless spawn? So when someone loses their heart and becomes a Heartless…"

"They are merely returning to their original form."

Riku grimaced. "Then why do they attack humans?"

"Heartless have no heart, but they have a soul. They long for all to return to their original form--to be the original Heartless again. Even return the Prince of Darkness."

"And…Kingdom Hearts?"

"Oh, that obscenity. That was actually the Nobodies' fault." A guilty smile flits across his face, "We had this crazy idea, that since the worlds were crumbling steadily, we could contain all light and darkness into one entity--and go back to being Essentials, to peace, to nothingness. Having nothing was better than everything disappearing. It worked…somewhat. Some of the Nobodies betrayed us, as did the Heartless. No one could be trusted. Zexion had betrayed the Heartless to join us, actually. He was the 7th real Nobody."

"So…what was light and what was darkness?"

"The Nobodies were light, and the Heartless: darkness. That much is fairly self-explanatory."

"But when Sora and I were rescuing Kairi--"

"Kairi? She's the future queen of Heartless, actually, so you'd best not believe anything she says. Naminé is her competitor--the future queen of the Nobodies. And no, Sora is **not** to be the king of Heartless, or Roxas the king of Nobodies. Actually… those two…are the future kings of the Essentials; if Roxas can find himself, and Sora, his _true_ destiny."

"And I…?"

"You, my dear Riku, have a special job…"


End file.
